My days mainly consist of me trying to get my humans to do as they’re told. So far they’ve not been so smart at the training, but I’m a patient puppy, and I have faith.
A typical day for us pretty much goes like this. I wake up in my bed, stretch my legs and decide to go to the park. Unfortunately my humans freak out if I don’t let them come with me, and to be fair, they’re useful for ball throwing and picking up my poop – no way do I want to get fined! So I start the long process that gets me to the park. First of all I jump on the humans’ bed – I let them sleep in my bedroom, it makes life easier. I like to snuggle in between them, making a bit of a nest with the covers: they won’t need them for much longer anyway. Then I have a bit of a snooze until I sense any kind of movement whatsoever. Sometimes the female human makes annoyed noises, but I just rearrange the fur on my face to look super-cute, look at her with my puppy-dog eyes, and wag my tail. Works every time! Sucker!! Then I climb all over her so I can get into a really good position for washing the male human’s face. This saves him time when he’s getting ready to go to the park: smart thinking, huh!! Once he’s dressed, I take him to the park and play with my friends until I decide to chase the ball. Mornings are the best!!
After breakfast, I settle down for a snooze. If I can find a lap, I’ll lie on it so the human can’t do anything useful: if they try I just change position. They find it really cute. Otherwise I’ll curl up in my bed while the female human sits on a chair and looks at a big rectangle thing. I’ve had a look at what’s on the table up there but she stops me eating the pens and paper. I must work on this: she clearly doesn’t understand how things work around here.
When I wake up from my morning Kimber Kip, I’m ready to go. I tap the female human on the arm, which she finds cute, but doesn’t move. It can take a lot of work before I hear my favourite word: “walking”! I typically take this human along the burn, through some woods, and into some fields. It’s great fun and I always meet friends to play with. There are birds and squirrels in the woods, and I’m currently training them to believe that I can’t catch them. I run slower than I can actually run, and I don’t climb the trees after them. They’re falling for it, and I got really close to a squirrel the other day. The female human definitely needs the most training. Not only does it take sometimes up to an hour before she’ll come walking with me, but she’s forgotten what to do with the ball. I know she has one in her pocket, but it doesn’t matter what I do, she doesn’t throw it! Yesterday I had to borrow one from my friend, and eventually resorted to playing with a pine cone!! We’re clearly going to have to go back to basics with this one.
After lunch, I settle down for another Kimber Kip, and will sometimes instigate a play session later in the afternoon, or maybe I’ll got for another walk: it depends on how I feel. Then, just before bed, I’ll go outside and have a little play. There are some bushes in the back garden that I like to burrow under, and the female human gets really excited: I love to make her happy! Then it’s off to bed for some sweet dreams about my day, and maybe to compile some training plans for those humans of mine! Bless them!