Yesterday Kimber and I went on several adventures together. In the morning we went to Loudons for breakfast, and then onto see Robbie at Arthaus Hair, so he could spruce me up for the Christmas party season. By the time we got home it was lunchtime, and after a quick change we headed off for a long walk in the countryside. Now I know what you’re thinking. That this is all very well, and thanks for letting you know. But I have a point if you can bear with me a little longer.
On each of these adventures Kimber had certain things she wanted. At Loudons she wanted lots of snacks and lots of attention. She was very demanding, tapping on my arm with her paw, but I wasn’t giving in to a strop, especially when I had scrambled eggs and salmon in front of me! At the hairdresser she wanted much of the same, although her demands were less tenacious. When it came to the walk, she didn’t want to go on the walk at all! But I did, so we went. And when we were on the walk, she asked me three times to throw a ball, even though she knows I don’t bring a ball on our walks.
Now, what do you think she did when I told her ‘no’? Or when she realised that she wasn’t getting what she wanted? Did she go off in a huff and spend the rest of the adventure torturing herself about what she didn’t have? Did she heck! In Loudons she lay down and chilled out, while remaining alert to all opportunities for being patted. At Arthaus Hair she settled down and had a lovely Kimber Kip. And on the walk she went off and found something delicious to sniff, before scampering around, and finding another puppy to play with. While remaining alert to the opportunity of chasing someone else’s ball…
When Kimber doesn’t get what she wants, she goes off and finds something else nice to do, while remaining alert to any opportunities to do what she wanted to do in the first place. But even though she’s alert enough to recognise an opportunity, it’s not dominating her thinking. It’s not affecting her enjoyment of the day. It’s not impacting on how she views herself.
That’s what I want. Too often I let disappointment cloud the rest of my day. Or I let ‘rejection’ be about me instead of what the other person wants or needs. I focus so much on what I don’t have that I don’t notice what I do or could have instead. And sometimes those things are better than what I wanted in the first place. So I’m aiming to be a bit more like Kimber. And when I don’t get what I want, I’m going to go and find something else I like to do instead. And trust that all good things are coming my way.